Friday, November 3, 2017

Black Hat and DEF CON (a little late)

I had written a few thoughts on Black Hat and DEF CON that I never shared here. They are two very different experiences, and the intersection of tech, culture, and commerce left a distinct impression on  me. Here are three of those impressions.


I Wish I'd Done More EE


I wish I'd done more Double-E
   Those folks have all the fun.
They solder random shit and then
   They code it 'til it runs.
They get to play with flashy lights,
   They get to plug in wires.
They mess with crazy 'sciloscopes,
   They get to tweak with pliers.
They rip apart all sorts of goods
   To find out how they work,
Then they post their hacks online:
   Part hero and part jerk!
Oh, why did I waste all that time
  With English and not math?
History just can't teach you how
  To build the future path.


I Don't Wanna Go To DEF CON

(with thanks to Elvis Costello)

I don't wanna go to DEF CON
They're all crazy there.
They pick the locks and hack the toys and
Color all their hair.
They brag about the 'splits and O-days.
They drink and get tattoos.
They want to free the information
And smash apart taboos.

Don't even think about turning on your wifi.
If you do you can kiss your phone goodbye.
Social engineers who try to con.
I don't wanna go to DEF CON.

They wear black shirts with skulls and crossbones.
They listen to the goons in red.
You ask a name, can't trust the answer.
Who would name their kid "TehG0dHed"?

Mobs of stinky nerds sitting side by side all
Listening to talks 'about shit that got fried.
Just like X-Files, you can't trust no one.
I don't wanna go to DEF CON.

Monday, May 22, 2017

One Conference - NLCyber Haiku

I attended the One Conference in The Hague recently, and seeing my European peers talking cybersecurity and Vermer's art inspired me.



The Girl With the Perl Earring


What does she look at,
The Girl with the Perl Earring?
Your code needs review.

Beneath her turban,
Her mind races through the vulns.
She sees the exploits.

Just out of the frame,
Her lithe fingers are dancing.
She's pwning your site.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

SOURCE Boston - Stop Asking?

I've had a great time attending this year's SOURCE Boston conference. Today's panel discussion on ransomware inspired this sad song.


Stop Asking?


Files arrive with a smile,
   a wink,
   and a nod.
Or they trickle down,
   the drips from a leaky ceiling,
   bad news arriving, staining,
      and costing.

You need to click.
   They demand your attention.
      (So shiny!)
   They promise you others' secrets.
      (While demanding all yours.)
   They warn you of impending doom.
      (Not far from the truth.)

You have to click.
   and the smiles drop,
     the ceiling crashes down,
   and you are left to wade
      through unfriendly faces
      offering you a life jacket
         for a price.

"But what if
   those smiles had been genuine
   and there really was
   a hole that needed patching?"
      (How could you know?)

The next file arrives
   and while holding a mop,
   you ask again.