Data Loss Greeting Cards

There are many state laws on the books that require anyone collecting certain personally identifiable information (PII) to notify the affected parties (and the state) if that data is compromised and shared inappropriately. Why should that process be boring? I see an opportunity for a new style of greeting cards!
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Data Loss Greeting Cards

Front: 
"Congratulations on Your Identity Theft!"

Inside: 
"Hackers thought you were so cool,
They want to make some copies.
We're sorry we made it all so easy
By losing all those floppies."

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Front:
"We're Sorry About The Breach!"

Inside:
"You shared with us your secrets, which we vowed to safely keep
But like a careless swimmer, we dove in way too deep.
Alas, our budget for security was met with strong rejection.
Instead, for you, we'll spend that cash on identity theft protection!"

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Front: 
"Did you know your computer could get a virus just from clicking a link, opening it up to hackers and other criminals who can then steal any of the data on the system as well as any passwords you type into it, especially passwords that might access large stores of personal data about our customers?"

Inside:
"Hey, we didn't either! :)
Happy Data Loss!"